Spring is in full swing and after a slight freeze tonight the temperatures will rebound into the 60’s and 70’s. I can’t wait! We are certainly enjoying the beauty of this season.
Today’s message is for the whole family but especially for our children. I have had the experience of watching a family in transition and had the opportunity to speak with the older sibling. As we were talking she shared that she was struggling with her siblings presence. I inquired about the behavior of the sibling and she responded, “_______ doesn’t have to do anything but share the space of the same room.” I asked, “What happens next?” She said, “I just get frustrated and yell at ______ too much.”
Wow, how many of us have had a similar experience. The person closest to us catches the negative of whatever is going on with us. We may not even be able to articulate our anger; we just know that we are on edge and the other (one we care about) got in the way by saying or doing the wrong thing. You have heard it asked before, “Why do we hurt the one’s we love?” There really is an answer. It is easiest, but it is also safest! What I mean is our family members are supposed to love us no matter what. Somewhere in the subconscious, we must realize that they “have to love us anyway”. So it gives us a sort of unwritten ability to be less respectful and certainly less loving. When we are our worst self, our family is supposed to manage it or handle it primarily because we do not stop to consider how it feels. If we did pause we would remember that it is hurtful and over time so destructive. The divide it creates, because we choose what is easy over what is right, is costly and can lead to separation, resentment, and isolation. This brings me to the next point from which we can all learn.
If you are aware of anything this week consider this: Negativity spirals more quickly than positivity. Is it any wonder that we live in a culture steeped with the negative? Why? Because negative things cause us to focus on other negative things. Well, guess what? If we worked to be more aware of our attitudes and responses we could multiply the positive by choosing to change our mindset. This change won’t come about overnight but with continual awareness and willingness to shift our paradigm and behave counter to the culture we might discover the positives also multiply. Positive things can also accelerate but only if we create them. So how do we make this happen?
Well my first suggestion would be a gratitude journal. You and every member of your family could keep your own gratitude journal where you physically need to identify at least four things you are thankful for that day. Your family could also keep one that you contribute to each week as a family. I would recommend that if you are doing a weekly family gratitude book that you agree to sit together on a certain day of the week and each family member can contribute one or two entries for that week.
Another way to compound the positives is by surrounding yourself with uplifting quotes and sayings that inspire you. I like to put them in my bag and keep them with me. It is also good to put them in places you frequent: the mirror in the bathroom, the hook by your car keys, next to your bed on the nightstand, etc. If you get everyone involved with this each one could be responsible to contribute to the positive quotes by leaving them for family members to find.
These are small things that each of you can do but if you make a conscious effort to work at it for the next six weeks it will become a habit. You will notice things around you change because they are inspired by your POSITIVITY!! Let’s see if we can create quality change in our lives and the lives of the people we love most… OUR FAMILY. My family is going to choose to be intentional about this as well.
Blessings to You,
Lisa